Monday, September 9, 2013

the beginning of a bad joke

You know when your kids come up to you and tug on your arm or shirt and say Mama! Mama! Mama!  My friend told me a joke today.  Do ya wanna hear it? Normally at this point, I ask which friend and I get a blank look and an answer something along the lines of "that girl who sits next to me."  Then I ask the girl's names and there's another blank look, and we normally have a little conversation about introducing yourself and learning people's names.  I swear my kids use the words person and friend interchangeably.  Essentially, anyone they meet is their friend :)   So anyway, after our quick little lesson in etiquette (which I'm sure went in one ear and out the other since they make new "friends" every day) I tell them I would love to hear their joke.  They usually go something like this:

Kid: What do a goose and a newspaper have in common?

Me: I don't know. what?

Kid: Neither of them are cats.

Insert another blank stare here ... although it belongs to me this time instead of the kids.  Then I laugh as if it's the funniest joke I ever heard.  Confession time ... in moments like these I can't help but think that their should be a test you have to take before becoming a parent.  It would require you to learn to laugh at things that are not remotely funny, like a 4-year-old's "joke" and to laugh when any sane person's response would be to cry, like when said 4-year-old decides to give his or her little brother a haircut.  My mom still says I will look back on that day and laugh, but it's been 7 years and I'm not holding out much hope :)

So in the spirit of kid jokes ... what do football, Dora the Explorer and a junk room have in common?

Answer: I can see all three from where I am sitting right now.

You can all wipe the blank stares off your faces now while I explain :)

My oldest just turned 15 at the end of last month, and Mae turns two at the end of this month, so we had a family get together to celebrate the kids.  My mother-in-law very generously made two themed cakes, the Detroit Lions (they won yesterday, it's a miracle!) for Seth and Dora the Explorer for Mae.  I bought each one of them a Mylar balloon, Seth a football and Mae a giant Dora, and Ruthie hung a Happy Birthday banner on the wall.  And that was pretty much the extent of the decorating.  Themed parties are not really my thing, although I am very jealous of anyone who can pull one off.  It pretty much takes all my free time just to clean the house before the party :)

Mae had no idea what to do with the candles on her cake, so the other kids had to help her blow them out.  But she certainly knew how to eat the cake!

I just love the contrast between 2-year-old and 15-year-old gifts.  Seth got two video games, a calendar of his favorite NCAA team, Lions tickets and gift cards.  Everything is so small and took no time at all to open.  Mae, on the other hand, got a bike, a picnic table, a broom set, two Disney play sets and some play kitchen stuff.  I feel like I need to build an addition just for her stuff (and she doesn't even have much compared to most kids I know!)

And that brings me to the last part of the "joke."  Our JUNK room ... with a capital J. U. N. K.  We have cleaned out every other room in our house (even the basement storage area) and this is the only room left.  It's where we put all the "maybe I should sell this instead of just giving it away" stuff.  Last year, I made a promise to myself to have the room cleaned out by Mae's 2nd birthday, which is in exactly 17 days.  That's right ... 2 weeks and 3 days to make a playroom of out this:

So here's my never ending, goes on forever, eternally long to do list:
  1. Empty out room
  2. Sell Bolts of Fabric - Anyone need any fabric circa 2005-2006?????
  3. Sell excess craft stuff - I don't scrapbook or make jewelry any more so it has to go
  4. Sell cloth diapers, many of which were never used since I had enough to diaper a small country (insert a what in the world was I thinking moment here!)
  5. Sell sewing cabinet I no longer use
  6. Sort through misc electronic equipment and sell what we don't use
  7. Have hubby go through photography equipment (including backdrops) and determine what to keep and what to sell/donate
  8. Clean out cabinet (not shown in picture) built by my grandpa and find a new home for it
  9. Finish Base boards
  10. Repair walls
  11. Paint trim
  12. Paint walls
  13. Make and hang curtains
  14. Go to IKEA to buy storage furniture (probably the only fun thing I get to do!)
  15. Put together IKEA furniture
  16. Hang coat/backpack hooks along long wall
  17. Install high shelf for photography storage
  18. Move all the toys into the room
In a nutshell, I have 17 days, and 18 items on my to do list.  No problem! After all, I have nothing else to do with my time, since my perfect kids make their own food, always take showers and brush their teeth without being told and always do their homework when they are supposed to ;)  Definitely the beginning of a bad joke!!!!

I'll be back sometime in the next couple of days to share my Oliver & S Popover Sundress flip that I made as part of the Project Run & Play sew-along, but for now, here's a little peek :)

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